California Bride: When it rains on your wedding day + food is late

May 9

It happened mi gente, I was A BRIDESMAID, and not just for anyone, but for Cindy Heffel (now Simmons) herself! I packed for this trip bright eyed, and bushy tailed forgetting I’d chopped off my hair a few months before and my go-to hair straightening style for nice events would have a crisis the morning of because it looked like a lobbed mess. I was reminded to take deep breaths and it was fine. Beside the point, here I interview Cindy Heffel about her Southern California Wedding that didn’t go as expected.

We’ll lay out this interview in a new way, in a numbered what to do list.

Bride: Have you ever heard someone say, “something will go wrong on your wedding day, it’s inevitable!” Every bride wants to believe that will never happen to her, and I truly believed my wedding was going to be perfect. Looking back now I laugh, because everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong.

I had an outdoor ceremony and reception, but guess what? It rained ALL day. My food was 2 hours late because the car broke down. My dress got so wet I had to tie the train in a knot behind me. The flowers, arch, dance floor, seating chart, and every other detail I spent months picking out suddenly went down the drain. It was an absolute mess.

Although everything was a mess, it was the BEST day of my life, and the chaos made it so much fun! Throughout the night, we had family and friends wiping down all the plates, utensils, and chairs to move everything inside. Guests quickly grabbed a warm drink and made themselves at home. I realized a wedding is truly meant to be fun, surrounded by people who love you and are willing to do anything for you!

Planning a wedding though can be a bit daunting, especially if you’re doing it yourself! Hopefully these tips can help prepare any new brides. Remember, each bride is different, so some things that worked for me may not be your style! A the end of the day, go with your heart and try to have fun throughout the entire process!

1. Splurge on your DJ

We were so happy we splurged on the DJ. They handled the whole night when everything started to go crazy. He knew exactly what to do and let us know this had happened at another wedding he had been to, so he was prepared. They’re in charge of the mood and getting everyone excited, which is so important, so we’re so glad we splurged on it.

2. Consider Cookie Wedding Favors

We both have families that wanted us to do traditional wedding favors for guests, but Ethan and I didn’t care since they’re not very popular anymore. If you’re looking to do them, we went with Costco cookies, got some clear bags off Amazon, and stickers that said, “sweet ending to a new beginning”. We were able to pack everything up in 30-40 minutes and we were able to have something to say thank you to people. It wasn’t handmade, but we still loved having something a little personalized that would actually get eaten (who doesn’t love Costco) and wasn’t super pricey.

3. Do you really need the ghost chairs?

For us, the chairs, plates, and silverware weren’t a priority. We didn’t put chargers under the plates which saved us a bit, we just had the plate, fork, knife, and napkin. My bridesmaids and I did a simple knot for the cloth napkins the night before while hanging out. I was considering getting ghost chairs for the layout, but they were something like double the price, and we decided not to. It was a big relief; it wasn’t necessary and we’re glad we saved the money!

4. .Get a day of Coordinator!

I wish I had hired a day of coordinator who would have gone through the entire day step by step with me beforehand. When things started going a bit crazy the day of, people kept coming up to my sisters and family, asking what we wanted to do. Even if we had sat with 2-3 close family members beforehand and gone through the entire day step by step I think it would have helped. Simply having someone or a few people who are the designated people in charge, or hiring a coordinator, is a must.

5. Know plan B if things go wrong

So many things went wrong with my day, and I wish we had gone through before and planned for that. The day of, you don’t want people coming to you and saying, “Oh my god, it’s raining, what do you want me to do”. They were confused on who was in charge, and it was kind of a mess. My sisters and aunt ended up taking control of all decisions, unless it was an emergency.

You don’t remember half the details as bride and groom, and we honestly don’t care if we do games before or after the cake cutting at that point. Our food was 2 hours late, meaning we had to fill that time, so my sisters started reorganizing the schedule which was super helpful. Think of everything that will go wrong and have a plan B. Everyone wants to think their wedding won’t be the one that goes wrong but everything that could go wrong went wrong on my day, and I wish I was a bit more prepared!

6. Use a wedding to-do checklist

A friend who had recently gotten married gave me a word document of a 12-month schedule of everything you need to do before your wedding. I re-did it to fit my schedule, since I only had 8 months to plan, so I was a little behind, but it helped me keep track of things I hadn’t thought of. One of them was reminding me to get my marriage licenses, and I was like oh, duh, I actually need that. Having some sort of checklist is important!

Get Free Wedding Checklist here

7. Keep an excel with all finances

I used to excel for all finances and it was hassle free. Be really open with those who are helping you pay for things. Tell them what you’re spending it on, and be open from the beginning or else it get’s awkward if you’re a little over and asking them about it. If you’re paying for it yourself, that’s difference, but if your grandparents are giving you 1K, it helps them if you tell them what you’re spending it on, and they know what they’re helping with. Money’s always a weird topic, but in our case, we were able to show where everything was going which made it easier to talk about.

8. Use a site for rsvp, registry and info

I used the knot.com and really liked that we had our registry, rsvp, photos, and other information about the wedding on it. I always remembered looking through other people’s sites and thinking it was fun, so I recommend doing that — and it’s free.

9. Do electronic save the dates

We did electronic save the dates through Zola and it was a big money saver. We texted the link to our friends and emailed our family the invitations. We had a fairly short engagement, so we didn’t want to send 2 paper documents so close together.

10. Weigh your invitations before you send them

If you’re doing more intricate invitations, prepare one with everything you’re putting on it (wax seals, the actual paper, etc) and take that to usps and ask how many stamps you need for it so you can get the right number of stamps before sending out the invitations. You can have the invitations hand scanned instead of dropping them into the blue bins where they get put through a machine, and possibly gotten dirty or folded. If you go inside, they’ll check them by hand and they won’t get crunched.

11.Be open to different bridal dress styles

I went to LUV Bridal in California and I absolutely loved it. It was so amazing and they were all super nice. They let your party go through and each pick a dress for you. I’d recommend not being afraid to try a wide variety of styles. I went in knowing I didn’t like corset tops in dresses but ended up getting a dress with a corset top, and loved it. Nothing like what I expected to end up with but loved it!

12. No one’s as excited for your wedding as you are

Don’t be afraid to plan the wedding that you actually want and not compromise based on what others want. Whenever I would have an opinion, it was really common for people to take on a tone of “okay bridezilla…”. Most people don’t realize what it takes to plan a wedding by yourself, and people closer to you will get defensive at times, thinking they have to do so much for you. You have to remember no one is as excited for your weddings as you are. Of course, this isn’t everyone, but be prepared for a few of them!

13. The Bridesmaids dresses: AZAZIE

I had my bridesmaids get dresses from AZAZIE in the color eucalyptus satin. I wanted to make sure the dresses weren't priced over $100, and I liked all the customizability the site had for dress styles in the same colors. It helped so much to know the materials would all be the same and gave me less hassle.

14. Have a COMFORTABLE shoe

My day of shoes were off Amazon, $40 and SO COMFORTABLE. I was seeing a lot of people recommend expensive shoes that I didn’t find very comfy. I was in these from noon to 11pm, a really long day, and they were super comfy. I’m so glad I went with a block heel also. You want the shoes to be cute, but unless you have plans to change into other shoes later in the night or you try them before, don’t make yourself suffer!

15. Make sure you eat

Stay hydrated and make sure you have food, even if it’s just little snacks throughout the day. Designate someone to check if you’ve been eating or drinking something. I told Kailee (one of my bridesmaids) to do it and I was so thankful for it.

16. Start routines at least 2 months before

Start a good workout, water intake, and skincare routine at least 2 months before, because that’s when you’ll start seeing it’s effects. I didn’t work out to lose any weight, but to get stress out and stay active. I focused on hydrating products for my skin 2 weeks before. If I got acne, I didn’t try to target it with spot treatments because those are very drying and hard to replenish the moisture afterward.

17. Invest in good photographers and videographers

You’ll like this one, hahaha, invest in good photographers and videographers because they are by your side all day. If you don’t like them, it’s going to suck. Our photographers did a zoom call before and it was something I loved. They asked what our dream for the day was, and it was great to see them and connect before the day of. Our photographers were a husband and wife team, and they were so fun to be around the whole day. Photographer: Kristin & Charles. Our videographer, Alex V. Films was also amazing, and jumped in when things started going out of plan and helping organize everything. I had seen lots of couples that offered both photo and video, but I decided to book both separately and I don’t regret it. I noticed how passionate they were for their individual craft, and I felt like I could choose photographers I loved and videographers who’s work I liked too.

18. If it can’t be fixed in 5 minutes, let it go

Take all your planning seriously with the days leading up to the wedding, but on the day of, there’s no need to ruin your wedding stressing about or getting angry about anything that you can’t control. If you can’t fix it in 5 minutes, let it go.

19. Do a preview with your makeup artist.

I am so glad I did a preview before the day of because right after the preview, my foundation started peeling and I was so confused. I sent her pictures, and she was so nice and helpful. She had me walk through my skincare step by step, and realized it was a serum I had been using that could cause the peeling of makeup. She sent me links to some exfoliating scrubs and when the day came, she started off with a layer of foundation to make sure it didn’t peel but we would have time to fix it by the end of the makeup session if so. She did exactly what I asked for and knew what to do. Leanne Marie brought people for hair and makeup and got through 6 of us before the wedding and everyone’s makeup stayed on the full night.

20. Take it all in

You spend so much time planning the day that sometimes on the day of, you don’t take time to look around. So have fun, take a moment to actually look at things. I was really excited for how we did our seating chart, and when I walked by it, I stopped and looked at it. I was just like, “oh my goodness, it looks so good”. Same with your flowers. Do this with your significant other, take a second to verbally register what’s around you, and you’ll actually remember it. Just have fun and try to be with your significant other throughout the night also. It’s easy to lose track of each other, but you both get to greet everyone, and you’ll have similar memories of the day! Remember, this day is about getting married to the love of your life, enjoy it!